Dear customers of a certain grocery store which shall remain nameless (lest I be fired for complaining),
1. I hate when you buy meat that is soaked in blood – I’m talking dripping the red gooey stuff everywhere – and you utterly refuse to put it in a plastic bag (conveniently located in the meat department)! Instead, you just slap that foul smelling, sticky, bloody package straight onto the conveyor belt with the rest of your groceries. What happens? The belt now has blood all over it and now I have to pick up this gross freakin thing with my bare hands so I can scan it! So now I have blood all over me and I still have to scan the rest of your stuff and handle money…so don’t tap your foot impatiently at me when I have to go grab a hand sanitizer wipe before proceeding with the rest of your order!
2. Why, when you have more than 15 items do you come into the 15 items or less lane?? Look, there’s limited counter space here, people! I don’t have room or time to bag your 50+ items and we both know I can’t order you to leave my line. Were you never taught the basic laws of common courtesy??? Now, I have to ring up your humongous order that I don’t have room for, bag it, and then after you leave, the 50 trillion people who each have 5 items apiece yell at ME for ringing you up!! And without fail, you people ALWAYS ask for your order to be bagged in paper – PAPER!!! It takes a thousand times longer to do that, you know! And God forbid you help me bag your order…you just stand there watching me as you do absolutely nothing! Also, when you get in line with 30 items and say to me, “I think I have a few more than 15” then giggle – I’m not gonna giggle with you! Get your impatient butts to the normal lines where you belong!!
3. Why can’t you read the sales signs?!! You see a sign that says “99 cents” and somewhere near the sign is a 24 pack of pop. The sign says that it’s the 2-liters that are 99 cents, but somehow you can never manage to get past reading the first few words of any sign! You grab whatever it is you WANT to be on sale and assume that that’s what the price is going to be! So then you come up to my register and get upset at me because you can’t read! Okay, I’ll admit that some of the sales are legitimately confusing, sometimes only certain flavors are on sale, but when a manager checks the sign for you and tells you that it’s not on sale, why do you have to get your panties in a bunch?? Either learn to read, or learn to handle disappointment when you’re not getting a 20 pound turkey for 50 cents! (ps – this goes for your coupons too – if it says buy two and get a dollar off, you can’t buy one and get a dollar off!)
4. Stop bringing your screaming kids to grocery shop with you! Enough said.
5. Please don’t ask me out if you are over 40 years old (or even over 25 for that matter). You’re creeping me out and next time I see you shopping I’m putting out my “closed” sign and hiding.
This being said, all of you are not like this. I do enjoy talking to a lot of you and you good ones make these other people bearable. Also, want to emphasize that I am not saying anything negative about the store I work at itself. Every store has its crazy customers.